T-minus 10

1. I had my appointment with Dr. Landy this afternoon. It was chock full of info that's for sure. here's a list of what was discussed:
2. I still have group B strep. Antibiotics will be administered during the delivery. Great... just what I need. ( If you're a woman reading this... you'll understand what antibiotics do to a girl)
3. The swelling in my legs isn't just my imagination... it's there and it's severe. Dr. Landy seemed concerend about it.
4. I am spilling TONS of proteins. If I start getting headaches or start seeing spots ~things could change quickly.
5. I am scheduled for both a c-section and an induction on February 9th @ 1:00. I have a measurement sonogram this Thursday. If Tiny weighs over 4,000 grams it's a c-section for me.
6. I am terrified to have a c-section

My dreams of nursing and holding a goop covered baby immediately after birth are pretty much out the door and I am devastated...devastated. Tiny will most likely have to go to the NICU for a few days" to monitor his/her bloodsugars. "There goes my early breastfeeding education. 9. I am exhausted and sad. That's the problem with dreaming. I have been so lucky... it was bound to end. 10) I know that the goal is for Tiny to be born happy and healthy. I need to get over the birth details, and see the good in the fact that I was able to do this at all. 11. I am a " little bit" dialated. I'm glad these ass kicking contractions I have every 20 minutes or so are doing their job. ( grr.) ( I am annoyed with Blogger right now because my numbering system got all messed up and Blogger won't let me fix it. If I had any energy, I'd work on it longer.. but I don't .. so for now pretend that the numbers are ins a straight line and you understand what I am talking about.)