Today's topic: circumcision.
Back when Holden was a baby, although I was hesitant,we had a bris at our home and circumsized Holden. I was overwhelmed with the idea of motherhood,and respectful of the fact that my husband was/is Jewish. I felt funny about cutting the skin off of the front of HIP's little weiner, but was told " it's for the best." We had a very cool Moyhel who explained the importance of circumcision to a room full of Gentiles and Parker's Dad.( the only other Jew in the house) My dad and Parker's dad held down our helpless son's arms as he laid on top of our dining room table , and we watched Holden's little foreskin get surgically removed as he screamed in pain and terror in front of our families. I held him tightly for hours afterward while he was drunk off of good Jewish wine. We gave the kids Hebrew names ( Millie's is : Nessa Iti.(which means: God's miracle with us) Holden's is Raphael Amos ( which means: God's Strength)) I felt guilty about the circumcision. I hesitated just minutes before... but it was all such a blur. I don't *regret* circumsizing Holden. He is no worse for the wear. I just have had time to think about it this time, and I'm not sure I feel the same way.
Parker and I spoke about circumcision the other night and what we will do if Tiny is a boy. I told him how I felt. He told me how he felt. We agreed. The problem is : it is very hard to make a decision for an 8 day old boy.
My feelings: Leave well enough alone. If it was supposed to be circumsized... it would arrive that way.
Parker's feelings: He's fine with not circumsizing... but worries that Tiny will be sad that his "thing" looks different than the rest of the dudes in our home.
I'm not concerned about what other's may or may not think. I know that a small percentage of boys @ the kids' school are circumsized... and frankly if it becomes an issue... there may be a problem there.( which there won't be.. because the school is so freakin' cool.. how could it become a problem?)
I have researched circumcision in the USA and only 50% of the boys born anymore are circumsized.
When I think about it... no 2 "things" are alike really. I mean, Millie and Holden aren't alike.. and it's no big deal. We all have something special... and what if Tiny's most special thing is his foreskin?
I have a lot of thinking to do over here. ( Or a lot of wishing that Tiny is a girl and this is all for nothing)
I'd just hate to make the wrong decision. This is way too much pressure.
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3 comments:
Hame - I don't think that you can look at it as making a right or wrong decision, rather you & Parker are making a decision together... The AAP doesnt recommend circumcision b/c it's not medically necessary..Our peds dont recommend it either (But they are from Europe, where its not done as frequently). I think that you can only do what you & Parker agree to & then know in your mind & heart that together you made the best decision for Tiny that you could. I think (and your research shows) that only 50% of boys are now being circumcised. So I think whichever route you go, Tiny will know other boys who have and havent had it done... However, you know I think Tiny is a girl...
I know you are NOT asking for anyone's opinion here since it's a personal matter. Jules is circ'd and it was something I struggled with. Frankly I don't like that circumcision is a public debate, it's a choice between mom and dad, my son's foreskin is nobodys bizness but ours. When people vocalize how wrong it is, I get offended. Not sure why I know that's my own hangup, prob b/c I felt bad about doing it. You can talk crap about my parenting but don't talk crap about my son's weiner even if you aren't refering to his specifically. (Not saying you are).
I was really torn over it and never fully felt comfortable doing it but Bryan felt strongly for it and honestly I think he has a better idea of what it's like to live w/a weiner. He seemed more qualified to make the decision. I think it's something very difficult to decide and unless you are having a boy you don't know how hard of a choice it is unless there are religious/other reasons influencing. I figured it was best to error on the side of caution, that is match the majority (albeit very minor majority these days).
And all I kept thinking about is how my now 20 year old nephew went through a very, very difficult time in his teens b/c he isn't (he had an infection at birth so couldn't be). He wanted his done so badly but by then it was too expensive. I know it's moer common now but I would hate for my son to be embarrased about it and that's all that was stuck in my head. But you never know, he can be embarrased it was done and "mutulated". I like to think that will less likely be an issue when being circ'd was once the norm and that his does match his fathers. (Plus being so mature I always got skeeved when I saw an uncirc'd one but I was younger then and silly...and probably b/c it wasn't "common") Seems like the only person who should really be making this decision is the baby! I'm guessing if they could talk they would say get the hell away from my weiner w/that knife bitch!
PS: I agree, my gut is saying it's a girl and I have a great record for these predictions! So there, problem solved :)
I am really hoping that Tiny is a girl. Parker and I spoke a little more about this topic last night and it seems that we may disagree a little more than we thought. Not that we can't come to an agreement... just that our views are different. I'm at this point that I can't see the harm or good in circumcision... which makes this even harder. I think we'll just need to wait and see Tiny's gender and wig out after that.
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