Busy week

This past Friday was a busy one. I had a BPP @ 10 am... ( which went well)and an appointment w/ Dr. Landy @ 2:45pm. 'Kay.. the BPP office and Dr. Landy's office are THE SAME OFFICE! Grrr. So I had to waste 3 hours and 45 minutes. How annoying. I mean they couldn't have done my BPP in the afternoon? Nope.. .all the techs work half days on Fridays. They leave @ noon. Still noon would have been better. So I drove to Bethesda and shopped for my Mom's birthday gift. I picked up a little something at a store called: Red Orchard. I love this place. Regional artists sell their wares here. You can find everything from edible garden seeds - $5,000 oak tables. Felted blankets... hand printed stationary,baby junk, awesome jewelry, pottery... ceramic sculpture, wooden spoons, scarves.. I could go on and on. It really is a cool place. If you're a local, and you're stumped for a gift... you won't be sorry if you hit this place. You never know, you may pick up a little something for yourself. :) ( Okay I confess! I bought a really cool ring with some of my Christmas money. :) )
After my shopping euphoria, I headed back to Georgetown and saw Dr. Landy. She said everything still looks good and she is really planning on inducing me @ 37 weeks or so. Here's where I freak. She is headed off to Boston to take a class @ Harvard ( something she said she always wanted to do) and returns back in the office on January 30th. So I'm in the hands of whoknowswhat Dr. until she returns. I don't wanna be induced. I don't want that dumb pitocin. I want my hippie natural birth that I can FEEL. I wanna cry. I wanna moan and walk around and deliver on all fours. Do I know that this will probably not happen. Yes. DO I know that not many women can stand the power of the contractions caused by pitocin? Yessss. DO I know that eventhough I am TERRIFIED of an epidural... I will most likely have one? Yessssssssss. Do I also know that the further I go, the chances of having a c-section go up exponentially? ( due to Tiny's size.. which is currently 5lbs)I know that too.I have to accept it. But I just need to say I feel sad about it. No I won't dwell. I will be sad that I sorta kinda had this idea of how the birth of our baby would be... and it seems that I don't really have any control over that. I s'poze most people don't have that control, but the people I do know who had natural births, actually had control... and a voice. For so long I haven't had any say when it comes to my medical care, but I see this as a natural event... something my body is supposed to do... but still I have to hand over my control to a team of doctors nurses and students ( Georgetown is obviously a teaching hosptial) to take over our intimate little moment when my baby comes out. The moment I imagined nursing my baby almost instantaniously while still attached to the placenta. The moment I see my bloody and vernix covered baby.. without it being taken away and wiped off so it's "clean." I didn't get to see Millie and Holden when they were born. I didn't get to see them come into this world. ( I heard them... and I haven't stopped hearing them since! whew!) So when it comes to Tiny's birth, I just kinda want to "see" everything. Parker says that medicine is here to help and protect. ( or something to that effect) Clearly I agree with him. I know that childbirth is dangerous. I also know that I have a raised risk level that puts my control somewhere down @ level 1.. and the doctors' up at level 10. I also knew all of this before I got pregnant. I've been having a lot of talks with Tiny. I keep saying, " Tiny, can you please make the decision to come out in the next 2 weeks or so? I would REALLY prefer not to have to be induced.If Tiny is anything like Millie and Holden today... I'll be having a c-section in 3 weeks. Parker and I went to our childbirth class yesterday. It really summed up how I felt about our delivery. It also was too long( 9-3:45) and unrealistic. The only mention of the NICU was if the baby ingests Meconium. THAT'S IT! Ridiculous. We took a tour of L&D, and we found out that last week we spent the night in a crappy room... instead of what they have to offer everyone else! We also watched many informative videos on birth styles/stories/and drugs. ( although the teacher seemed to be a proponent of natural deliveries) So, we have a lot to think about/obsess over for the next couple of weeks. Which is always nice, yes?

Back to Friday: We threw Millie and Holden a " No more Noonies! ( pacifiers) party" on Friday night. Obviously to celebrate the fact that they have given up their noonies. We need them to know how proud of them we are! A bunch of their friends ( and their friends parents) joined us for pizza and cake. It was fun. ( until Millie had a complete meltdown over who knows what. All we can figure is that she was just exhausted) Millie and Holden seemed pleased. I would have pictures to post... if my camera's stupid flash never went off! Luckily Suze is more organized that I am... and I know she took some pics... so I'll at least have something to show Millie and Holden when they are older. ( bad mommy) Luckily I had my mom and Suze at the house on Friday.. since they pretty much did everything in preparation. I am lucky to have such a cool and supportive family. I was also glad to See Gingersnap and all of her cuteness. She sure can make a room smile.

Okay, Ruby seems to be barking ( something that sounds more like a muffled " glurk") at I'm sure nothing other than the sky.. but it never hurts to check if a small child is standing there peeing it's pants in fear.

I hope this upcoming week slows down for me. These mid- week visits to the hospital are getting OLD.