Red Christmas

Perhaps its that the holidays are always stressful. Perhaps its that I'm freaked out that very shortly the somewhat responsible adults in our house will be outnumbered by people whose sole purpose is to see if they can injure themselves in front of my very eyes. Perhaps its that Amy's highly educated doctors cannot agree on anything. Perhaps its that we have no coherent plan for switching from "man to man" to "zone" defense. Perhaps its the end of the year pressure at work. Perhaps its that the evening news is damn depressing. Whatever the reason, I can't sleep. So its 2:56 AM and I'm hijacking my wife's blog to share with you my nocturnal musings. My apologies in advance to her conservative pals.


RED CHRISTMAS
(A holiday tale from a Liberal Insomniac)

The clear blue skies are turning gray, the bay’s not doing well.
The wildlife is dwindling. It should be scared as hell.
“There’s oil in that refuge, so drill straight down”, they said.
Sometimes I think that they won’t rest ‘til all the trees are dead.

“No trigger locks, no safety switch, my rights won’t be eroded!”
Just tell that to the little girl, who thought it wasn’t loaded.
Perhaps the hunting leaves no time to go get educated,
But read your holy “2nd”, please, it says: “well regulated”.

“Small government”, they preach, “is the ideal situation”.
Except to try to rule the bodies of half the population.
The end of Sandra Day O’Connor is quickly drawing nigh.
So pack its bags and start its car, then kiss your Choice goodbye.

“The homosexuals”, they scream, “are poisoning our youth!”
As if volume will outweigh their lack of scientific proof.
“And now they want to marry and steal our holy institution!”
As soon as his divorce is done, he’ll work on a solution.

“Tax and spend!” they jump and shout, then point across the aisle.
Now, quiet please, he’s got to stack his money in a pile.
“Cut and spend” is a better way to keep the poor folks slumming.
Dust off your Marx and Engels, boys, the revolution’s coming.

They say the Lord is guiding them. It made me want to look,
So I sat down, and now I’m sure they’ve never read the Book.
Or if they did, they skipped the parts ‘bout turn the other cheek;
Plus bombs and guns and armored tanks don’t qualify as meek.

“For God says life is holy, we must protect it everywhere.”
Now follow him and he will show you our new electric chair.
Don’t worry about his low IQ or the highly biased jury.
“Now go put on your Sunday best and off to church we’ll hurry!”

And now they’re in the lab room screaming, “God will make you pay!”
Remind me again, just which disease did prayer make go away?
And isn’t it quite possible, with each secret they unlock,
That God is with the Doctors as they work to cure His flock?

Well, Elvis sang of Blue ones, as if that would be so bad,
And whether White or Green, Christmas always made me glad.
But this year I see no sugar plumbs, as I lay in my bed,
And when at last I fall asleep, my Christmas dreams are red.

Merry Christmas 2005
Parker