My first born.

For those of you who know me well, you know that I consider Scarlett the Dog to be my first born daughter. Scarlett is the result of my pigheadedness, and my Mee Maw's open checkbook. ( with the condition that I would do odd jobs to work off the $200 lent to me) Scarlett ( an English/American bulldog mix breed) flew up from Ragland Alabama to D.C. on a cold January day ( for a $30 charge) and Parker and I picked her up in the freight holding area @ National Airport. It was the brand new year of 1995. I had turned over a new leaf. I was determined to be a good mom. Scarlett's only job was to keep me real. I distinctly remember holding her like a sleeping infant in my lap in the front seat of Parker's "Oldsmo-buick" saying " I love our babayyy" in my best Holly Hunter voice... just like in Raising Arizona. Scarlett put up with a lot of my shit over the years, and frankly, I've put up with a lot of her shit as well. ( literally) Scarlett tolerated the introduction of Miss Ruby Jones ( her English bulldog sister . ie: her nemesis) to our family as I struggled with the beginning stages of infertility. Scarlett tolerated the intro of the 2 hairless puppies we brought to her home after a weird 3 month visit with my parents while the kids were in the NICU. Scarlett tolerated getting kicked out of our bed , only to be replaced by screaming infants and beeping apnea monitors. Scarlett is tolerant. Tonight, Scarlett is tolerating being "tapped" by one of the emergency room vets @ Pet E.R. in Towson. It seems that after an x-ray taken to diagnose why the dog was all of a sudden peeing all over the house. ( except for in places where it was easy to clean up) Her bladder was fine. We were left a message that she would be fine. This past week, Scarlett got OLD quick. She wasn't eating. Scarlett wasn't drinking. She was really working hard to breathe. I called the vet. Wherein the vet informed us that " in April, a message was left at your home stating that a large mass was detected in the lower lobe of Scarlett's lung and to please call back for an appointment for further testing." I OBVIOUSLY never got the message. I was advised to take Scarlett to the Pet E.R. ( By my friend Dr. Heidi) so our "Good Girl" could be seen by a specialist. Upon arrival, the Vet said that Scarlett is VERY SICK. Her chest cavity is filled with fluid. The mass in her lung is still there, and possibly tumors could be throughout her entire body.Scarlett could be in congestive heart failure. The Vet said Scarlett has about "5 months to live." She added, " we don't know exactly what her prognosis is, but I will say, it would have been better if taken care of 5 months ago. " Here's where I want to call our vet and SCREAM, " WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL US BACK?????!!!!!??!??!?!?" Clearly we didn't get the message. Why would we take a dog to the vet to see why she is peeing in the house, and not follow up on a call about a tumor in her lung??? My heart is broken. I am numb. I know that Scarlett isn't immortal, but what am I gonna do?