Ya know it's always something. I should know that. Dr. Ratner wanted to see me " right away" to assess the swelling in my legs. I made an appointment for Tuesday afternoon. The swelling in my legs was pretty much gone, but he still wanted to make sure all was well. I gained a pound and a half in 5 days... which didn't sit right with Dr. R. I had a " trace" of fluid retention, and my blood pressure was 147/76. He looked at me and said " your blood pressure is high." I asked if stress could contribute to the rise in blood pressure. He said " sure". I explained that on the way to the clinic, I received a phone call from Scarlett's oncologist, and was told that the chemo didn't work, and if anything , it made things worse for Scarlett. Dr. Calo( oncologist) suggested that we " make a decision for Scarlett." I was stunned and devastated. ( OBVIOUSLY) No more than 5 minutes after recieving the news that I might need to put my dog to sleep, because it's " more humane" I was having my blood pressure taken. Man this SUCKS! Dr. Ratner was sympathetic, and hopeful that the higher blood pressure was temporary while I adjusted to the bad news. Dr.Ratner advised me to cut out all salt, drink plenty of fluid,and when I am home " lie down." I asked if bedrest was in my future, he said " probably." SO I have all of this to look forward to.
We still don't know what to do for poor Scarlett. I will tell you this: I think we are going to wait for a " sign". Parker said " the idea of saying to Scarlett, ' let's go for a ride in the car' so we can drive her to get put to sleep is mean and wrong." I whole heartedly agree. Neither of us want her to suffer w/ plueral effusion, but we also don't feel like we can be the ones to decide to kill her. Thats' the cancer's job. Stupid cancer, I HATE YOU FOR HURTING MY FRIEND! I find myself wishing that she could just die in her sleep. I can't believe I am wishing for her death. What I REALLY wish for is a magical elixr that will make her stay around forever, disease free and happy. I guess that's what memories are made of. My dad always told me that when you stop remembering friends after they die... that's when they are gone forever. I hope I never forget her.
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3 comments:
OH HAME! You will never forget her, she sounds way too wonderful. My heart aches for you.
OK this may sound stupid and I hope it doesn't upset you as it's supposed to do the opposite.
I've always believed that sometimes people/animals that we love so much sometimes leave us to "make room" so to speak for something else just as wonderful to come in to our lives. This time was chosen for Scarlett to help bring your Tiny into this world. So Scarlett will forever live on inside Tiny.
Cara,
I completely agree with you! I have even discussed the possibility of Tiny's middle name being Scarlett in her honor. (Parker said NO when I said I think Tiny's first name should be Scarlett... but he didn't think the middle name was too bad. We'll see. )Scarlett the dog has filled my heart for years...and I do honeslty believe she made me the mom I am today. I owe her big time. For now I'll just give her ground beef for dinner and lots of hugs and kisses
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