sniff sniff

As I have stated before, due to my new stature ( a rounder lower abdomen than usual) My 2 astute children have taken notice... and deduced that I wouldn't just get round for no reason.. I MUST have a baby in there. Holden asks daily if I have a baby in my "tummy", and Millie Sue kisses my stomach and says " I' m kissing my baby." I have not told the children outright that I am expecting. They have just figured it out. If you saw me, you would know why. ( when I figure out how to put pictures on this blog... it will be easier to see the descriptions, but for now: bear with me.) My mom and Suze haven't seen my stomach yet... andI was rather excited to show them. I distinctly remember when Suze was pregnant with Millie Sue and Holden, how excited she was when she popped. I also remember with her current pregnancy, that she was elated that she was showing early in her pregnancy... and joking about how she was " embarassed" that she was showing so early...when really she was THRILLED... as she should have been. This is all supposed to be exciting... and no person on this Earth has the ability to pop my bubble... except for my mother. Given my history of restrictions and diabetes complications, my mom has every right to be cautious. If I were in her shoes I would be cautious as well. Today she was not cautious. She was mean. As my mom and Suze walked in the door to see my family and my new found belly, Holden ran up to them and cheered with delight, " Mommy has a baby in her tummy!!!!!" My mom in her attempts to keep it a secret blurts out, " NOOOOOO Mommy doesn't have a baby in her belly, Aunt Suze does!!! hahahaha!!!" (while she rubbed Suze's stomach.) My poor stunned son didn't know what to do other than run away yelling " I'm not going to kiss you !"( and slammed the door to the playroom) My mom stood there saying something I can't remember ( because I was too hurt) and I said " I'm not going to lie to the boy.. if he asks me I will tell him the truth." She said " well you just don't want people to find out now... it's too early." I KNOW THAT!!! I AM NOT STUPID!!! ( breathe... breathe...)It was at that moment that I decided that unless she asks... I am not going to tell her a smidge about this pregnancy. NADA. I will not have my feelings hurt like that AGAIN. I don't mean to make my mom look awful, because she's not. She's wonderful. She is trying so hard to be supportive, but she's scared. I understand... but my feelings are hurt. It's that simple. I am hyper-sensitive. Sometimes ( even without pregnancy hormones) I take everything said to me the wrong way. I know this was a misunderstanding. It just so happens that this particular misunderstanding, made me very sad, when I really only wanted to feel happy.