Today marks it: it's official, I'm 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I have been seen by my perinatologist ( yes, the most fabulous Dr. Landy) and she said, " everything looks just beautiful." My bloodpressure was 100/63. My blood sugar was 103. Dr. Landy did another sonogram and there was "Tiny" kicking & punching all around! She said " from what I can tell, the baby looks just great." SHEWWWWW! Now here's the hard part: After the clinical visit, I visited with Dr. Landy in her office to "discuss" our future plans. She said I didn't have to have a C section.. IF the baby was measuring small enough . Apparently I will be receiving 2 sonograms a week from week 30 - week40. ( so much for the ol "sonograms cause deafness" myth. We'll see if that comes true in 31 weeks . :) Dr. Landy approved that Parker and I " act married" again. .. but there are risks... so be gentle.:)) She is very concerned about the possibility of the babe developing cystic fibrosis. Reason: babies of diabetics... And babies of Jews are at higher risk for developing Cystic fibrosis. The other awesome thing: Babies of diabetics can be prone to Spina Bifida. Alright!!! Now do you know why I have anxiety attacks? I do know however, that every parent has to worry about birth defects, so I guess every parent knows that morning sickness isn't caused by hormones.. It's FEAR!!!! ( "they" don't tell you that.. so people continue to procreate) So ~ back to "Tiny." Tiny was doing a little dance in there. I saw arms and legs... And a head.. And a wee tiny butt. I was mesmerized by this little person. I kept thinking, " who are you in there?" It's funny how I feel like the baby is a stranger. I do not know this person. I love this person, even though he/she is a stranger. I am wondering if this distance is being caused by the fact that I am terrified that I am still going to miscarry. OHHH why do other people make this look so easy? I see people so happy about being pregnant. It seems so natural on everyone else... why do I just feel like a portal? Does this get easier in the second trimester?
I spoke with my mom today to see How Millie Sue and Holden were doing. Mom spoke of HIP's fear of spiders... and how Millie Sue tried her best to explain that spiders are more scared of people than people are scared of spiders. HIP didn't agree. Poor little guy. I'm gonna get one more little update on my sweet babies... and hit the sack early.
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2 comments:
hame, always remember that hip and ms are part jew and part diebetic....they are fine and well. remember???!!!!! :)reets
Yes very good point Reet.
And Hame, it gets better. I hated being pregnant but by the 3rd trimester I never wanted it to end (and now I want to be again). And so many people said "it's such a miracle to have a baby growing in you" and I felt weird b/c I thought it was more alien-like than anything. It didn't seem natural to me even though it couldn't be more natural. (and the worrying fades...well those worries, you know all about the worries after they are born!)
It's just a lot of pressure on one person. 2 people make the baby then it's put solely on us women which was hard for me to deal w/. You are doing great and you aren't alone!
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