Just your typical breakfast menu of Wafles, and a side of sibling rivalry.

Millie: " Holden pretend we're a prince and princess and you're gonna save me."

Holden:" No Millie, I don't want to play that."

Millie: ( slumps down in her chair and shoots a look of death at Holden)

Holden:" MOM! Millie just said that if I don't play with her she won't get me a transformer!!!"

Me: " Holden, no she didn't, she just sat there looking at you."

Millie:" Nu uh, I said that if he didn't play with me that I was going to buy him Make-up and make him wear it." ( purses lips together and raises eyebrows, trying not to laugh.)

Holden:" EWWWW NOOOOOO I will definitely not wear make up!!!

Millie/me:" BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (high five!) Yeah baby! Take that!"

Clean

I just have to vent here. I have to tell you I am tired of cleaning. You know what I do every single day? I clean. I pick up toys and put them back. I wipe off tables, I pick up remotes in the bathroom? I clear off the driveway. I clean up shredded diapers and vacume ( thanks Devo) I sort through tall piles of catalogs and recycle. I clean the same exact way every other mom in the world cleans.... and you know what? It looks like I sit around on my ass all day. It doesn't matter how hard I try, this house looks like a bomb went off in it. I clean up one area, and while I head to another section of mess, the section I just finished cleaning, is messy again. Rules I make ( no food out of the kitchen) are broken and bold face lies are told. I fold laundry all day and all night... but there is still a pile of laundry always waiting to be put away or folded. I clean . Thats what I do. There are piles of papers the kids bring home from school that I'm not quite sure I should keep, but I feel bad throwing them away. So they sit on the kitchen counter cluttering up the place, laughing at me when I am teary and overwhelmed. I clean. What a waste of precious life.

I have been tossing around the idea of going to the Montessori Institute to get Montessori training for 0-3 year olds. One of the most important parts of Montessori is cleanliness and no clutter. Well, how the hell can I even get myself to get settled in enough in my own environment to teach cleanliness and clairity? Which brings me to my much overdue point:

I feel defeated. every single day I wake up defeated, knowing that no matter how hard I try, I will not accomplish one thing today. I will attempt to clean and straighten,only to turn around and it be trashed. I am generally a happy person who can usually see the brighter side of life. I'm realistic. I complain a lot, but I know I'm being a whiner.
For Chistmas this year I want a live in maid named Alice, 3 children who understand that I am trying to get things in order around here, and a purged basement that only has toys that the kids actually will use more than once a year. That's no too much to ask, is it?

If anyone wants some free toys aimed at 3-5 year olds.. let me know quick.. because I feel a HUGE purge swelling up.

Catch!

I know I haven't posted in eons. Let's just say that the school year is kicking my ass. Here's a little update... in readers digest format.

1. Kids start back at school in ( obviously ) September. Since they are among the oldest kids in the class things are looking up. HIP has 2 new teachers. They are fun, beautiful ( on the inside and out) and very dedicated to their job and the children. MS continues on with her teachers from the year before. She finds a confidence she never knew she had. She is finally a " big kid" in the class and has jobs. Gus starts in his toddler community. He transitions well. Loves the teachers. Has fun playing with the kids and animals.
2. I enroll MS & HIP in Lacrosse ( monday afternoons)(Millie hates it and quits) and Gymnastics( tuesday afternoons)and Gus on Wednesday mornings. Gus' teacher congratulates me on my non-exhisting pregnancy. I...
3. Get a personal trainer. She declares," I'm gonna kick your ass." She wasn't kidding people. I almost throw up every time I meet with her. She tells me I need to lose 15 lbs and firm up my flabby ass. As much as I hate her.. I love her too. She cracks me up.
4. Millie becomes obsessed with Gymnastics. She declares that she isn't going to go to school anymore so she can go to gymnastics every day. Millie's teeth also start faling out left and right. She currently looks like Nanny McPhee.
5. Gus starts talking about pooping on the potty. He actually poops on the potty a couple of times.
6. Holden is still picking his nose and eating it. it makes me dry heave.
7. Millie is in Love with Corbin Bleu and tells everyone that he is her boyfriend.
8. Gus speaks.
9. Devo Howls at the moon
10. One of Holden's teachers is senselessly and horrifically murdered. her family and friends hold a celebration of life ceremony. I sit there wondering why ( along with everyone else) we are there. Why do these things happen to WONDERFUL people. There is a big gaping hole at the kids' school. Sometimes I feel like her spirit is at the school, smiling down on everyone, as she pats the kids on their heads when they accomplish their " big work."
11. I bleach my hair. ( ALL BY MYSELF) It isn't good. I get it fixed. It is better. Now I have roots galore and I wonder when I'll have time to go get it touched up.
12. Are you bored yet?

Ideal-vs-real

I quite often think to myself, " why is this so hard???" I watch other people sit at tables in resturants with multiple children who are eating what is on their plates and speaking with their inside voices. Most of the time these said children are staring in disbelief at our table. I know, I know, These times will pass and we will look back and laugh. Well, I'm not sure about the laughing part. When we leave public places, most of the time Parker and I are arguing because we are so stressed out, and both of us are in a full body sweat. I have compiled a list about things in my life that I would like to change, but I know I can't at the moment.



Ideal:Children wake up pre-dressed for school and willing to eat what I put on the table for them.
real: Children take 45 minutes to get themselves ready for school , even when I am helping them. They eat a bowl of frosty coated sugar bombs because that's all we have time for.



ideal:My 21 month old would understand that I am trying to cut back on how many times a day he nurses.

real: as much as I adore nursing my boy, it is becoming a bit of an issue. He nurses wherever and whenever he wants. I can't walk up the steps without him dangling off of me while he scratches my boob out. My chest has cuts all over it. He nurses on one boob while he holds the other nip in place... and then switches. I don't care about nursing in public, or if people get a glimse of the nips, I'm just to the point where I want him to understand that even though he wants to nurse,I don't always agree... and it is my body too. I have him down to nap time and bedtime. So far so good... but it's only been 4 days.



ideal:My kitchen would automatically clean itself.

real. HA, yeah right.



ideal: the laundry fairy wouldn't be on permanent vacation

real: there is a pile of laundry that runs the length of the Andes from one end of the house to the other.



Ideal:My 6 month old puppy would only pee and poop outside. He would also only chew on his toys.

real: Devo is a 1,000mph sneak. He can run upstairs and take a shit and chew up a beloved babydoll faster than it takes to chase him up the stairs to spray him with the "bad doggie bottle." He IS only 6 months old. I need to cut him a break.



Ideal: the kids' schools would be about 20 minutes closer.

real: the kids' school is 30 minutes away without traffic.



Ideal: I could get to sleep at night.

real: I crash while I nurse Gus to bed @ 8:30. Wake up at 11. Clean the kitchen,feed the dogs, pack lunches, fold the 3 loads of laundry I didn't fold earlier in the day, feed the guinea pig, get the the kids to the bathroom, tuck everyone in, let the dogs out, take a shower, nurse crying baby, sneak away after an hour,let freezing dogs back in the house and "tuck them in",turn off every single light in the house and finally fall into bed at 4:30 am. Up at 7:15. I haven't gotten into bed before 4:30 in close to a month. I dream about sleeping and how easy it used to be.



Ideal: the toys would be alive and put themselves away at night.

real: well, if they are alive.. they stay up all night partying at their little toy keggers, and pass out wherever they fall. What a bunch of lushes. To think, I thought Polly Pocket had a little more self respect.





Ideal: Gus' school would stay open and in it's current location.
Real: Gus' school is temporarily closing and moving to a new location. The new location is simply too far away. I'm not sure I can handle the change. I LOVE his little school, his teachers, the kids in the program, all of the little animals( frogs, hampsters,birds, turtles, a bearded dragon, and a dog) Gus can hold and love, and so much more. I just don't think I want to add more stress to our lives. I am considering moving Gussy to a new school that has a 2 year old Montessori program. This is the school that took over MS & HIP's old nursery school... so there are teachers that I know and LOVE . They knew Gus when he was "Tiny" in my belly.I would feel good about sending him to the new school... I'm just really bad at telling people that the new changes aren't going to be good for our family's best interest. I'll miss Gus' little Toddler community.

Ideal: Thanksgiving would take place at our house.
real: THAT WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER, HAPPEN.

The list goes on and on, but that's just me being a perfectionist. and whiney . I think I need a nap.

Holden's phrase of the day:

When Millie and Holden were getting ready to get in the car this morning, Holden was trying to tell me something. Millie kept interrupting. Holden said ," Millie stop ruding me!!!"

I couldn't stop laughing. What a way with words.

D-word

That's right friends... it is time for Parker and Me to go on a big fat life changing, size changing diet. Millie said to me today: " Mom, when you sit like that, you look like you have a baby in your tummy." WHAAAAAA???? HolyCRAP! I do? Is it that bad? I know I've gained some weight, but to look pregnant WHEN I AM NOT is a bad thing. One of Parker's clients told him that he was bigger than he was the last time he saw him. I mean seriously, who says that? So I am going to have to get my act together and start eating better. Maybe ice cream all the time is a bad thing? Maybe I am ravenous because I am still nursing G. Maybe it's the side effect of one of the meds I am on. I haven't battled my weight since MS & HIP were born... if anything I worried that I was too thin at times.. but to look pg when I am not is clearly an eye opener to a healthier lifestyle. Now that I take special notice I need help with my gut,arms,legs, and large ass. Problem is: I don't seem to have the time. I know I should get up earlier... walk/run/ eat a sensible breakfast ( one that doesn't involve chocolate pudding perhaps?) have healthy meals and snacks ( that don't involve cheese and dried spiced meats) I think I can do this without going on a diet per se... maybe a lifestyle change? I hate this. I never sit down. I never relax... there's gotta be perks to that. I guess not. Anyone know a free personal trainer?

Quarantine

Someone slap a big "S" on our front door... HIP has strep throat and Scarlet fever. Scarlet Fever you say? Yes Scarlet Fever. Seems that after a weekend of swimming and reunioning with my family, Holden abruptly developed a sore throat and a high ever. 2 Days later, HIP's face was swollen and very red. I didn't notice the tell-tale " white mustache" under his nose that is a dead give away. Luckily it's not 1900...and we have antibiotics to help prevent HIP from deafness,blindness, and death. Parker said, "Scarlet Fever made Helen Keller go deaf and blind." Way to jump to the worst case scenario, Pal. Always looking at the bright side of life. ;) .
Anyways, I'm just sending a shout out that if you need to come over to opur place, call before you come over, or you'll be sorry.

summertime

Welp, it's been a busy summer so far. Not unlike most summers of course. Remember when summertime was boring? Remember when you would wake up, wander to the kitchen for some breakfast of english muffins and jam, finish up and head to the couch for some good down home cartoon watchin? After the complete boredom became painful, you headed to your room and slipped into your bathing suit and off to the pool you went with your mom, sister, and cousins for an entire day of crazy dives off the diving board, and endless games of marco polo. Well, if you're anything like me, you grew up and had kids. Woosh! There went the boredom ... right out the window... headed straight to the little kid down the street. Oh man... why did my boredom have to leave me? This summer has been a little different than most for a couple of reasons. 1) Ms & HIP are almost 6... when they are out of sight, it's not quite as urgent. 2) Since my sis graduated from grad school, and she isn't starting her job until the fall, she suggested heading to the beach for the summer. Hmmm,let's think. Stay at my parents place where the groceries and meals are paid for, the rent is cheap ( hugs and kisses for Beanie and Papa whenever they ask) and a village of help from my family. Let's think... tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.. ding! Sure I'm there. Does it have to end in August? Can we extend the stay until let's say, FOREVER? I'm so spoiled rotten at this point, I may even have to ask if it's possible. Summering at the beach for more than a week is different than I thought. It's like being home, but with a view and a lot more to do. Nap schedules still apply. Nightime routines are as important.. even if it is pushed back an hour or 2. Here's where it gets tough:Gus. Gus is a little difficult these days. First off: he can talk. So when he wants something he says it for an hour... even if he gets it when he first asks. A perfect example of this is nursing on demand. GOOD LORD . " Mommy, boob? Boob Mommy? Mom, boob.... Ame? da boob? Amyyyyyy, boob? Mommy? Mommy? Mommeeeeeeeeheeeeeewaaaaaaaaboobmommy? It's exhausting. No shirt stays on. No turtleneck is high or tight enough for him to gain access to my tired nipples. I am not complaining .. really I'm not. I LOVE nursing him. It is our special time. I love to watch him latched on and gulping happily while he kicks me in the chin and giggles. He sings, talks and does all kinds of yoga moves while he is nursing. The biggest problem now is that I'm the only one who gets to give him this kind of happiness. I know his daddy would love to have a go at bringing him unprecedented bliss... but alas, Dady's nips don't hold the golden ticket. Gus' nursing has become a little bit of a problem. I am the only one who can get him into bed... and after a full day ( starting sometimes @ 6:30 ish) by the time it is bedtime... I am pooped. Somewhere along the lines, I developed narcolepsy . Last night, I fell asleep when I was talking on the phone with my mom! I haven't slept a full night in a big girl bed in 9 months. I haven't hung out with my hubs for what seems like years because I fall asleep nursing and wake up @ 1am dazed and confused abotu where the night went. Sadly... I think the only way to solve this problem is to wean. Gus certainly does not want to wean, that's fer sure... but when I commited to attachment parenting.... I never ever ever thought I would detatch from the rest of my family and life. Gus has become the center of my universe based on 2 things: My boobs. This isn't healthy. I want to get my life back. Maybe watch a TV show? Go out to a bar and listen to music? Sit down and not fall asleep? Drive without having to blast the air conditioner and the music ( good thing I have that Clutch CD..... you know who you are!) so I don't fall asleep at the wheel. I don't even know how to begin this process. I know it will be hard, but it has to be done. I'll let you know how it goes.

grrrrr woof woof

We are happy to announce that our little pup arrived last week. He is happy and healthy and from what we can tell... colicky.

Chatterbox

• Since I have slacked off entirely on the blogging gig...I thought I'd jump back in and update everyone on our baby man.( like the good ol' days) Our little Gus is quite a chatterbox. I have to say the only time he is quiet is when he is sleeping. His current vocabulary consists of:Mom, ( me) Mama,( people in general)Dada,Mi-ie( Millie) Huh( Holden) Boo Boo ( Ruby Jones) All done ( holding his hands palms up) un, doo, eeeee! ( 1,2,3!) Atchoo! OW! Uh uh,( while pointing his little finger) Boo? ( my favorite.. he points to my boob and looks at me and says Boo?) More more more ( while signing) eese( please) Pita pitaaa( pizza pizza.... just like the Little Caesars commercials) poo( pool) bah( ball) Daaaa( dog, or any 4 legged friend, for that matter) Hi!! ( to anyone he sees) Heyo peeple( hello people: while talking on the phone) Wha's sat? Uh oh, and most recently : NO! ( ohhh how I love that one) Gus is very outgoing. He loves to go shopping and play with other kids. This past week I signed him up for school. SCHOOL ???you say... at 18 months? Let me tell you: Gus doesn't have any friends who are his age. He's smack in the middle of older and younger kids ( except for my niece.. but she lives an hour away.) Millie and HIP were in a playgroup when they were 12 months. Gus' one friend moved. (sniff sniff) I feel like he needs some socializing. Back to the school. Yes. It is a 2 -4 day a week ( depending on how often we think he needs to go) 3 hours each day in a Montessori toddler community. I am totally in love with it. Everything is tiny, including the wee little working oven and stove. The owner/ teacher is a parent at Millie and Holden's school. She is lovely... and sweet and caring and everything I have missed since the kids left their old nursery school. The school provides 2 Montessori teachers who are specifically trained in infant/toddler environments. There is a lady who walks around cleaning up all the spills, changing diapers, and helping the kids wipe their little faces. Then the owner does music/movement and storytime. Their snacks are organic and in true Montessori fashion, self serve. They have a huge aquarium filled with large goldfish and a turtle. She also has 2 finches and a bearded dragon ( named Speedy... and Gus LOVED him. He was holding him and wouldn't let go.) They have 2 little playgrounds, a garden, & a pond with fish in it and a waterfall. If I were 18 months old, I'd definitely want to play there a couple of times a week. He will learn social skills, practical life skills, paint, stamp, watch animals, cook, clean and play. I am so glad I found this little school. I know he will love it. I know he will use all of his words and learn new ones in the process.

we're expecting

Yeah ,yeah, I know, I don't write, I don't call. I have fallen off the face. I'm not even sure people are reading this anymore. One the slim chance that there is anyone left out there. We have some news: We're expecting again. No, not a human baby, a dog baby. Yes indeedy, in 3 short weeks an 8 week old whippet puppy will be flying in from Ohio. I'm having some slight deja vu, as this is the same thing that happened when we were waiting for Scarlett. Let me start from the beginning: After Scarlett died I declared that no other dogs would enter my life again. Losing Scarlett was just like losing a child to us. Why would I want to set myself and my family up for loss again? After talking to a neighbor, my mind was changed. She simply said," Never say never, maybe there is a dog in the future waiting to be your best friend. Just think, if you close the door, you'll never know." She is a very wise lady. Fast forward to December of 2006. I started thinking about getting a family friendly dog. Maybe it would be okay if we gave it another go. I certainly wouldn't be replacing Scarlett, but adding new memories to our family. I started researching dog breeds. Labs, mastiffs, bassetts,pulis, komandors,cotons, you name it, I considered it for my family. There was always the thing in common that I was tired of , and wanted to prevent: shedding. I'm sick of the dog hair all over my black shirts. So I found this breed called a Lagotto Romagnolo. It's a cute little curly haired dog that doesn't shed, it plays fetch, it's smart, smallish ( 30 lbs) and somewhat rare ( you know I like to be different) I contacted a breeder and I was absolutely sold. She told me that she was going to breed again in the spring. That seemed perfect to me. I talked it over with Parker and he wasn't exactly excited about it, but knows that when I get something in my head, it usually happens. Mother's day rolls around. The kids and Parker surprised me with a doggie bed, a leash, a box of puppy treats and a small bag of puppy food. I was extactic. I e-mailed the lagotto breeder. All the pups had been sold. Boo. She said that she was breeding again the winter. She is one of 2 north american breeders.The other breeder isn't going to breed again until December. :( The thought of potty training a puppy with snow on the ground was not something I had in mind. So I moved on. Next: the Portuguese Water Dog. Cute. Smallish. Non shedding. Good , good, good. I called breeders. Every breeder said "I will not sell you a PWD if you have children under the age of 7. "Apparently PWD are " spirited and energetic." ie: they'll knock your ass over. Nope. Not good. I do not want that . I already Holden for that. :) SO Back to the drawing board. I came up with a whippet. Non barking, snuggly. Very gentle. Loyal. easily trained. The list went on and on. I was sold. I contacted a breeder in Ohio. She breeds champions and is a wealth of knowledge. The ONE bad thing about whippets: if they see an animal they think is worth chasing, they run, and I mean : RUN. 40 mph to be exact. Hmmm. SO if you see me hoofin'it down the street, all out of breath.. I'm most likely trying to catch my speed hound. 26 days and counting. He is one of the puppies onthe right side of the picture. ( all boys) I can't decide.. .they are all too perfect

Bad Mommy

Things started out pretty good today. I got the big kids out the door and off to school in a relatively timely matter. Gus and I enjoyed some Mommy/baby time for awhile before he was off taking his morning nap. My friend Cathy came over and we had a nice visit. It had been awhile since we had seen each other. It was nice to catch up while Gus showed off his new walkin' skills. Sounds good, right? Yeah! After Cathy took off, I bundled up my babe and we headed for the grocer. I don't love grocery shopping, but when Gus is my shopping buddy, things are generally wonderful. We shared a few macaroons, kissed each other every once and awhile and had a complete conversation in baby . Gus flirted with each and every person who crossed our path. People commented on his sweetness, and we even made a friend in the produce section right by the mangos. The cart got pretty heavy, so it was clear that I had reached the end of our shopping trip. I had 20 minutes to pick up MS& HIP at school. Perfect, since the school is 3 miles from the grocery store. Wow. I actually felt accomplished. Now, there is a cashier who loves babies at this particular grocery store. Every grocery store has one. She's the one who tickles, makes faces, and is even bold enough to cross that personal space line and kiss the baby on the cheek. Her admiration for babies is genuine and sweet. Today as I made my way to register 6, she popped out of register 3 and said, " Oh you have more than 15 items." I nodded and said " maybe next time." and smiled. She said, " oh forget it.. come on we'll go fast!I need my baby fix!" The next thing I know she's tossing my groceries on the belt and we're off. There was really no turning back. She recruited a manager-type to help her bag. Gus patiently waited in the cart, but I could tell things were going to get hectic fast. He kept standing up and trying to hold onto me. I held onto him as I placed the groceries on the belt. As I turned back from signing the credit card thingy, I saw and heard and saw Gus land right on his little head. " OH SHIT" I said , as I swooped him up. He whined a little and looked at me longingly. The manager-ish guy said, " Oh God, is he okay?" I poo pooed the situation and said, "Oh, he's okay, no worries." Then I looked at Gus' face and he was grey. His eyes were rolling around and his pupils were really small. I said " Oh, wow, I don't like his coloring right now." The next thing knew, my cart was being pushed by a nice bag boy who was clueless to the sitch. I frantically called our pediatrician who said he needed to see him ASAP. MS & HIP were at school. I had already missed carpool. I called Cathy. No answer. I called her 20 more times. No answer. I called a few neighbors. No answers from any of them. I called Parker ... at this point I was crying because Gus was limp.Finally I bit the big one and called their school. They said That MS& HIP could stay until 5:30. Okay, good, that's taken care of. I heard everyone saying " these things happen, it wasn't your fault." The thing is: it was my fault. He wasn't buckled in. ( the cart's buckle was broken and I was too lazy to get a new cart) I let him fall. I sobbed my way to the Dr's office imagining having to take him to the ER for an MRI. I imagined my sweet baby being different from this day on. Luckily, I was being dramatic. Gus' color change after the fall was due to his little body being in shock. He was fine in about an hour. Right before I rolled into lane 3 with the baby loving cashier,for a split moment in time, I felt as if I had control over everything. That'll teach me to get cocky.

Now I know why some animals eat their young.

Here's why some animals have eaten their young: They must have been snowed/iced in with their kids for 4 days. Ya know, I pride myself on how much I love parenting. I live for it. What I don't live for is , " HE LOOKED AT ME!!!!" "SHE WON'T GIVE MY LIGHT SABER BACK!!" " NOBODY LIKES ME!!" " YOU'RE STUPID!!" Multiply this by 2 and again by 1,000, then multiply this by 4 days. All of this love has given me a bad headache. Now add in the babe who thinks I am his human pacifier, and has started waking up 3 times a night to nurse. As much as I love nursing...when I idealized nursing before Gus was born, I didn't think that every time I picked him up he would whip out a boob. I am beat down people. The thought of 3 more days with my kids is about to give me a stroke. My house is a mess. My car is iced over in the driveway. I can't run away, I'd slip and break my leg. Then I'd be laid up and not able to run the other way to hide in the laundry room. Calgon, take me away. I think I need a break.

Gym"nurse"sticks

It has come to my attention that Gus' desire to nurse has increased 10 fold over the past couple of weeks. Along with his desire, his activity level has also jumped up a notch as well. What used to be a nice spell of 20-30 minutes of intimate nursing time has now become somewhat of a contact sport.

Some of my favorite positions are:

The splat: it looks like someone dropped him out of the sky and he landed flat on my chest... arms and legs sprawled.

The Switcheroo: both mammies accessible. He straddles my hips & switches sides every 10-15 seconds. While he nurses on the left he cups the right gently in his right hand . Vise versa.

Warrior 4: ( for all you yoga buffs, you'll be able to picture it) While nursing on my left, he is standing on his right leg ( yes standing.) His trunk is "open to the sky" . His left arm is straight up in the air. His left leg is also in the air . He is kicking his leg vigoriously. My nipple stretches 100 feet to accommodate

The squat: he stands square in front of me on both feet, bent at theknees & hips not unlike a sumo wrestler. See the Switcheroo for nursing style with this one.

The bow: He stands on my legs and bends his hips at a 90 degree angle.

The Sing along: while straddled at my hips he performs the Switcheroo while making baby noises and laughs each time I mimic him.

The "smell this" technique: See the Switcheroo but occasionally he will slide a foot up between my boobs.Sticking his stinky little foot right in my face.

The kick: Typically he does this when he is nursing because he's bored. He lays flat on his back and kicks his one leg in the air over and over again. This also astounds me because my nip is so stretchy in this position.

Doin' the Butt: He performs the Squat position and ocassionaly puts his tiny heiny up in the air.

And finally ( my fave) The Jibber Jabber: He starts off panting frantically and waving his hands around in every direction. He starts his motor and says "mamamamamamamamama" all the way down to the boob. He then takes a big sigh and becomes milk drunk.

I knew that nursing was going to be an amazing experience, but I never ever ever pictured him flipping all over the place.

I love it nevertheless.

There I was

I have not had a lot of time to myself lately. Gus has a cold from hell. He doesn't sleep well, and the ONLY thing that makes him happy is nursing. I understand that his little throat hurts ( his voice is even more froggy than usual) His nights are rough since he can't suck his thumb with a stuffy nose. This being said: I am up every 2 hours with a crying baby... and every 3 with a 5 year old who says he loves me so much he can't stay away from me. Sooooo flattering... but also very exhausting. For all of you co-sleepers out there.. hats off to you. I can't do it. I can't sleep with a 40 lb kid on my chest... a crying baby pulling my boobs out of my shirt... trigger thumb and carpel tunnel in both hands...an annoyed husband, and my diabetes technology( pump & receiver) all piled up in our bed. I'm the one in the middle wide awake and very uncomfortable and annoyed. My shrink says I'm "too available." I'm going to have to agree with her on that one. That being said, I asked my friend Cathy to watch Gus, and I made a hair appointment. Ahhhh, a few hours to myself. Just me and my stylist, Gregg. Not a care in the world. (we'll talk about my orange mohawk at a later time... I'm still getting used to it)UNTIL~ There in the salon. I am innocently sitting in the chair, mindin' my own... having foils applied to my head... & brown goo smeared all overthe place. The next thing I know a huge microphone is pushed up my nose. I pulled my face back only to see a camera with a big " Channel 9 News " printed on the side. The newsboy who's name I don't know( sorry I don't watch the news ever.. it's too depressing) Blurts out ( with no warning) " The census borough released a statement today saying that 51% of American women are not married. Does this percentage surprise you?" Not realizing the camera was actually on I blurt out,"well, yeah! But do you have to ask me this question when I have foils on my head? Couldn't you aks me this when my hair is finished?" The dude sighed and moved on to the next victim. I mean REALLY? Did he have to just turn on the camera with no warning? I looked like a big idiot . Here's the thing. The woman next to me said that she believed that children need to be raised with a mother and a father yada yada yada.. Sure... for SOME. I obviously feel that marriage was the route for me.. but marriage isn't for everyone. Why does society establish that the " norm" is marriage . I don't think it's fair to project that opinion. What if a single mom enjoys her lifestyle. Why is it up to me to say " you need to a husband to make your life complete?" That's not up to me. If I didn't have foils on my head I would have been able to say that to the dumb newscaster dude. Alas... too late, as usual. For now, I am going to get used to my new fashion forward hair color.

New Guineas

During the winter break for the kids' school, we were the host family to a small Anole. It was a fun little project. Feed, watch, & spritz with water. The kids had a good time taking care of the little guy ( later named: Popsie by one of our little friends) In Millie and Holden's classrooms, there are pets. ( like a lot of nursery schools) The kids are in charge of the care of these pets, giving them this grand sense of responsibility. So I get to thinkin'... would small pets be a good idea for MS &HIP? Do they need to know that they have a job within our family? So off to the petstore I go. I pick up 2 small Guinea Pigs from the World's most knowledgable guinea pig specialist, " George Jr." When I was leaving with my bundle of "rodents" as Parker calls them, I said to George Jr, " If I have any questions, can I call you?" George Jr replied, " Um, I might not be at work that day. You might just want to look up Guinea Pigs on the internet." I raised eyebrow... and realized that George Jr was dead serious. I buckled my new guineas into the front seat ( in their little carrier, duh. Imagine if I buckled them in to the seatbelt, as if they were sitting on their butts.. . belt across their stomachs...HA that would have been a sight!) I surprised MS & HIP with their new little babies when we returned form MS's ballet class. Originally the pigs were named " Kioko & None" ( ??) For a short time they were " Luke & Yoda( of course) but it was decided that " Waldorf and Stadtler" ( you know, the 2 grumpy old men that sat in the box seats every week during the Muppet show) would be the names that stick. Waldorf & Stadtler have been very patient with their new owners. Holden thinks they should be " free range guinea pigs" surprising us with an armful of piggies every once and awhile. The pigs love to eat carrots, orange peels, collard greens, spinach, mango,grapes, apples, and special yogurt drops. Waldorf is a little more patient... but also quicker to give a little bite when he is nervous. Stadter and MS are a good pair. Both are very sensitive. MS&HIP are thrilled to have little pets to call their own. Parker is warming up to them, except he won't ADMIT it! ( you like the new guineas.... you know you do) I like watching my kids get excited about their new responsibility. holden made a salad for the pigs last night, and sat and watched the pigs eat with much excitement. I'll post pics soon!

It's that time of year again

You know how I love to reminisce. I love to look back and do the ol' " one year ago today" routine. Welp, one year ago today I woke up after a wild and crazy New Year's eve (ie: a pregnant Amy slept on the couch from 9-11:59... only to be awakened by her two 4 year olds and husband to bang on pots and pans on the back porch) and we made our weekly trip to the Deli for Bagels and lox. Throughout the day I noticed a little bit of tightening here and there in my lower belly . I figured braxton hicks were to blame. After eating a large helping of my family's traditional pork and saurkraut. I started noticing the tightening more often... and stronger by the minute. In kept a tally of contractions inmy journal. I put ona call to my OB and she said, " come one down here, we'll check things out." My friend Brandi was my " go to " person. She received a phone call. She popped on over and stayed with the kids until my mom could get here. I remember feeling that sinking feeling all the way to the hospital. Parker and I discussed boy names ( since we hadn't decided on one) and nervously chattered about what was going to happen. It was decided after 3 hours on a monitor that yes indeed I was contracting, but the contractions were not productive. I also was put on antibiotics because I had strep B. We were sent home. ( deep breath... that was a close one) It doesn't feel like a year has passed. As I sat and talked to Gus tonight while I was getting him ready to get in bed, I noticed that his cheeks aren't as round as they once were. His fingers know just what to do in order to pick up the exact toy he wants, he parrots back " ho ho ho" on perfect cue... followed by a belly laugh and a big smile and a little head butt, and when he crawls up the staircase at lightening speed, he knows that I am right behind him as he laughs the whole way up the steps. Funny how much can happen in a year.