Clean

I just have to vent here. I have to tell you I am tired of cleaning. You know what I do every single day? I clean. I pick up toys and put them back. I wipe off tables, I pick up remotes in the bathroom? I clear off the driveway. I clean up shredded diapers and vacume ( thanks Devo) I sort through tall piles of catalogs and recycle. I clean the same exact way every other mom in the world cleans.... and you know what? It looks like I sit around on my ass all day. It doesn't matter how hard I try, this house looks like a bomb went off in it. I clean up one area, and while I head to another section of mess, the section I just finished cleaning, is messy again. Rules I make ( no food out of the kitchen) are broken and bold face lies are told. I fold laundry all day and all night... but there is still a pile of laundry always waiting to be put away or folded. I clean . Thats what I do. There are piles of papers the kids bring home from school that I'm not quite sure I should keep, but I feel bad throwing them away. So they sit on the kitchen counter cluttering up the place, laughing at me when I am teary and overwhelmed. I clean. What a waste of precious life.

I have been tossing around the idea of going to the Montessori Institute to get Montessori training for 0-3 year olds. One of the most important parts of Montessori is cleanliness and no clutter. Well, how the hell can I even get myself to get settled in enough in my own environment to teach cleanliness and clairity? Which brings me to my much overdue point:

I feel defeated. every single day I wake up defeated, knowing that no matter how hard I try, I will not accomplish one thing today. I will attempt to clean and straighten,only to turn around and it be trashed. I am generally a happy person who can usually see the brighter side of life. I'm realistic. I complain a lot, but I know I'm being a whiner.
For Chistmas this year I want a live in maid named Alice, 3 children who understand that I am trying to get things in order around here, and a purged basement that only has toys that the kids actually will use more than once a year. That's no too much to ask, is it?

If anyone wants some free toys aimed at 3-5 year olds.. let me know quick.. because I feel a HUGE purge swelling up.