Before I get into life w/ baby & 2 four year olds: I saw the Lactation Consultant on Friday morning. She was very cool, and very supportive of my concerns. Her first opinion was that Gus doesn't have reflux. She asked when he seems to pull off and arch his back when he eats. I told her about 2 -3 minutes into the feed. She said that in her opinion, he wasn't refluxing. (because he will eat for 20 minutes at a time w/out signs of pain) She believes that I have a monster of a "let down" and Gus probably gets a mouthful of milk very quickly, and has to pull off and gag and choke because he's getting too much at once, not refluxing. The other issue is: After he pulls off ( due to the "let down") he doesn't re-establish his wide opened mouth latch.. because he probably doesn't want another mouthful of milk, so he keeps his lips closer together, as to not allow the large quantities of milk to choke him again. She said that he was probably guarding himself. Makes perfect sense to me. It made so much sense to me that I stopped giving him that god awful zantac. ( I will discuss this w/ Dr. G on Monday) Gus' voice isn't hoarse anymore, and he eats willingly for 20-30 minutes. I THINK I MIGHT be getting the hang of this breastfeeding stuff. Gus is back up to his birth weight( 9#4 oz) and is 21 1/2 " long. I cna't believe I grew a baby of his size in my body. He must have been so smooshed! I was laughing last night when Millie wanted to carry him across the room. I said, "MS Gus weighs almost half as much as you do.. and he's only 3 weeks old. :)" Any bets on when Gus passes Millie? I bet it'll be within the first year.
Now: Life in this house:
My mom went home for a nice weekend with my dad and to spend some time with some of her friends. She left at 3pm on Friday. At approximately 3:05 I had to feed Gus. MS & HIP were playing with some wooden blocks in the family room " building a city." At approximately 3:07 MS freaked out ( over nothing from what I can tell) and kicked over HIP's buildings, and growled at him. HIP immediately started to cry. MS bitch slapped him. I calmly stated: "we do not do this in our house." MS SCREAMED, " YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!GRRRRRRRSQUEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I said, " Little one, you better get your act together. I know you are angry, but this is not a nice way to talk to anyone. Do you want to tell me what is going on , so I can help?" MS: " NOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHGRRRRRRR!" Okay... tick tock tick tock... Me: " Millie Sue, I think you might need to go upstairs for a little while and think about how to be nice to people. MS : "" I'm not going upstairs." Me: ( getting close to my breaking point) You do not have a choice anymore, you will go ustairs for 5 minutes." " MS: " No I won't!" Me : (at the point where I can see a downward spiral of screaming developing) ... silence... angry face. " MILLICENT GET UPSTAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh man...it happened. I lost my cookies because my kid didn't listen to me. Where did my " kinder gentler way of parenting" go? I'm not a parent who compares her children to other children. I'm not a person who likes to be compared to others because I want to be my own person, not one of the herd. As I say that, I also want the elusive respect I see other kids give their parents when they speak. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not proud of Millie for standing firm on her feelings... because I have never been able to do that. I always victimize the other person, and give in. It's my nature to not be confrontational. When in a resturant, if I find a short and curly ( yes... that kind of short and curly... and yes it did happen to me)hair in my mashed potatoes on the first bite, I calmly gag and push the plate away. Nothing is ever mentioned. I internally deal, and a fuss is never made. I have friends who will ask to move tables in a resturant because the woman sitting behind us is wearing perfume that is too strong. Ya know what? That is totally cool... as long as I'm not the one doing the complaining... but I digress: Millie is a strong little woman with a HOT temper. I am currently trying to figure out how to teach her that while it is definitely okay to be angry... growling and screaming threats louder than a howler monkey is pretty much frowned upon in society. So, back to the story, I have one kid WAILING because he was un-invited to his twin sister's birthday party for the thousand'th time in one day... a long haired,skinny pterodactyl screaming at the top of her lungs, and a baby vacuumed to my right boob... listening to his first argument on the "outside." I felt so bad for Gus... he was sucking away... with his brow all furrowed. I kept telling myself... " find your happy place, find your happy place..." I finally got Millie to go upstairs. She sat up there yelling " how much longer?????!!!" Once I yelled back " until you're 18 and then you can go get your own place!" Oh man! How is she so much like me??? It is so frustrating sometimes. I feel bad for her because I can only imagine that the reason this all started was because HIP built something she 1) didn't like, or 2) was jealous she couldn't build something like that. NOW: stretch that temper tantrum into an entire weekend.. yes people... she has been like this since friday afternoon. I needless to say am a little worn out. I know that MS's little life is changing these days, and I should allow for some frustration... so I will continue to figure out how to communicate and see eye to eye with my 26 pound 4 year old prize fighter. Gus Gus seems to think that is is cool to be awake ( and happy) from about 2 am - 6 am. Just kickin' and talkin' to the ceiling... and asking to eat out of boredom. Ahhhh yes... I have become a " pacifier"... in every way Let's see how week 4 goes.
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2 comments:
Gee. Sounds like my house growing up (and look how well I turned out)! As if you needed parenting advice from me...
What I do with howler monkies at school is I seriously invade their personal space. I walk resolutely up to the kid and take both their hands gently-but-firmly in mine and put my eyeballs about three inches from theirs. This generally freaks them out enough to make them stop screaming (depending on what I had for lunch). At this point, I deliver my message in a very serious, very quiet voice, through clenched teeth as necessary. For me at school, this works. I use it sparingly because it is my "full Monty".
Of course, with kids at school I have the distinct advantage of not being their mama. Therefore they are not nearly as assured that I will always love them and never eat them no matter how they yell. That's what you get for being a loving, accepting, healthy parent, eh?
Ahhh the personal space issue...
Millie doesn't bode well with an invasion... so much so that if you dare to get within a foot from her... you can bet on getting your face scratched. She is a tricky little lady with all kids of defense slogans ( ie: "HOLDEN DID IT~NOT ME!" and my personal fave, " I'm telling Daddy that you weren't nice to me!" ) I do practice the "whisper" approach when I deal with both kids... except now: I have a baby attached to my boob... so when I say or do anything in any form of discipline... the little people get distracted with whatever the baby is doing at the moment. I KNOW that Millie is lashing out in response to the baby and how we have rearranged her life. I noticed the other day that she desperately wants to be near Gus... and tries to wake him up no matter what. WHen she is corrected .. she goes BALLS OUT. Clearly I have a sensitive one on my hands.. and I need to figure out how to make the statement" Millie, Gus is sleeping.. but when he wakes up you can be the first person to hold him." a little less threatening. Someone sign me up for a PEP course!
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