Mornings at our house

For those of you who know us well, you know this very simple fact: WE ARE NOT MORNING PEOPLE. When Scarlett became part of Parker and my life, I remember saying ," hey, a puppy will help us get up and go in the mornings!" 2 months later, I find Parker and Scarlett the puppy all snuggled up still in bed @ 2 pm... after I returned from Core, and that dumb "mirrors used in fine art in history." class I was forced to take. ( dumb academic credits) I digress. After 2 months of dog ownership we had trained our puppy not to be a morning person either. Jump ahead 5 years. Millie and Holden are born. We are thrown into the baby machine. Change, feed,burp, sleep, play, cry,sleep,feed,cry,sleep,change,feed,..... repeat. ( 20 times a day... not necessarily in that order.. but remember to multiply that by 2. )By the time Millie and HIP were 10 months old, they were sleeping until 11 am. I was told by a person who shall remain nameless, " Oh my God, wake those kids up and get on with your day." Um, NO. Waking up babies is against my religion. I do not wake up babies. I certainly do not wake up twins if I don't have to. Millie and Holden did not wake up before 10 am ( unless forced to ) until they started going to school. Jump to today. Today was like most days. Gus giggles and wiggles in his bassinet @ about 6 am. ( he typically sleeps from 9pm-6am.) I peer over with one eye open . He catches my gaze and smiles a toothless smile. I pick him up and smell his divine baby smell, and squeeze him tight. I walk him to the bathroom and lay him in his happy place( the counter on a pillow wrapped in fleece. )He loves this place so much. I think it's because the mirror allows him to check out his rad baby self while I wipe him and change his stinkers. He typically grabs his peep, and I panic because I haven't cut his fingernails in awhile. Gus winds up into a massive crying fit. I change the diaper in 10 seconds flat and pick him up, wherein he stops crying immediately. I walk over to my side of the bed, lay him on a cloth diaper. Gus wails because I can't whip my boob out fast enough. Parker moans and rolls over. I pop the booby in the crying baby mouth and the child suckles for an HOUR. I love every second of it. 7 am: After popping all of my pills and brushing the teeth. I roll downstairs to pack to lunches. I make 1 pb&j. cut in half. Cut up an orange pepper, place in baggies. Wash and cut up some sort of fruit. fish throught the drawer of granola bars for bags of cookies. Get overpriced, organic chocolate and strawberry milks out of fridge. I try to draw something of interest on a small love note for each lunch box. I rememer the days where I used to draw small masterpieces for my kids' lunchboxes, so they knew I loved them more than the world, and I wasn't forcing them into school because I didn't want them around, I just knew they were ready. Back to today. I write I heart you Holden, and I heart you Millie a with a simple drawing in marker and slap each note in the lunches.. knowing that I could still draw if I wanted to.. but I just don't have the time anymore. I place the lunchboxes at the back door. Stop off at the computer to check the weather.. so I don't dress the peeps inappropriately for the day. I mosey back upstairs, kiss each 4 1/2 year old child on the head and say " 2 minutes." I pick out outfits, unders, and socks. I say , " okay up and at'em." I hear a wraspy voice whipser from under the covers, " where are we going?" I say " school." I hear, " I'm not going to school." I say.. uh yes you are.. you love school." I hear a very clear, " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL." I think to myself, UG. I hear, " Holden first." Then I hear another different wraspy voice from under the other set of covers, " Millie." Then it's back and forth. " holden, " Millie, " holden..." and I finally say, " Let's get dressed at the same time. " I hear , "NO." ( simultaneously) In walks groggy Parker with fussy Gus. I take fussing baby. He cheers up. Kids sit in beds, hair every direction, sweaty. I say, " please get dressed. " they say , " no." I say.. " okay I'm getting a little annoyed." they say " we're not going to school." I say, " I gotta go get your breakfasts ready. ( time check: 8:30) I freak out. " Get dressed and come downstairs." ( in my mommy voice. I have forgotten how to be nice. I didn't yell.. I just said it while clentching my teeth. Baby is crying. Kids are WAILING, " NO MOMMY!!! HELP USSSSSSSSSSS!" I say , " nope. get dressed." Millie literally jumps into her clothes, picks out shoes and flies down the steps. Holden sits in bed screaming. I calmly walk to the steps and say. " GET OUT OF BED. PICK UP YOUR CLOTHES AND SHOES. WALK TO THE STAIRS. WALK DOWN THE STEPS. I AM DONE WITH THIS NONSENSE." Holden walks downstairs. Sits at the table. Eats his cereal. Baby is now crying. I nurse baby while kids eat. Baby falls asleep. I take him to up his crib. Just as I am leaving the room, Millie and Holden come upstairs and scream something about how Millie looked at Holden and he didn't like it. Millie stomps her foot and spits. Baby wakes up crying. Holden cries. I'm on the verge of crying. Husband is in Shower. Time check: 8:55. I sigh. They should be in the car. I take fussy baby downstairs. Parker is making scrambled eggs. Mutters something about me not having time to make him breakfast. I raise my eyebrows higher than my hairline and tell myself not to dump scrambled eggs on his head. I put holden's shoes on while I hold the fussy overtired baby, and listen to how " Superkitty and Danny Phantom are going to save us from the bad guys,"( in one ear) and How " Alexa has a cool pair of brown flip flops."( in the other ear) Parker says , " Call sears. The dishwasher is broken." Grrr. Fine. Fine.. no big deal. I kiss my children. Holden says, " Mom, you know I love you." I said, You know I love YOU too pal. He smiles and walks to the door. Millie hugs me and kisses me. I know they will have a good day. I walk back upstairs and nurse the babe . He falls asleep in the calm. I call Sears. As I wait on hold for 30 minutes, a crazy robin pecks on the office window. Just as the operator picks up, the baby wakes up crying. Good timing. I sigh and go back upstairs and try to talk and take care of fussy babe at the same time. Today was pretty much like any other day ( minus the broken dishwasher.) I'm thinking about joining the circus. ( one without animals ;) )I think I'm pretty qualified.