Here we are. This people, is where Gus is happy. It seems that if Gus is put in any other place, he cries. Gus can sleep in this pouch for hours upon end. The minute I put him down he wakes up screaming. Gus sleeps in the carrier through: folding laundry, doing dishes, playtime with Millie and Holden, when Millie and Holden argue ( which seems to be more and more these days) and the rest of what makes our life absolutely crazy. Gus seems to like chaos. HAHA! In my attempts to become more organized... I have become completely overwhelmed with amount of crap we have in our home and it's level of disorganization. I go to friends' houses and leave feeling so blue and overwhelmed because I know that I have to return to the state of affairs I call my home. It seems that the more I try, the worse it gets. I find myself arguing with myself ( and my inner voices) over which pile of crap gets precedence over the other. I feel like I'm spreading myself too thin with the crap piles ( some literally ( thanks to Ruby Jones) ) the laundry piles, the toy piles, mail piles, and the piles and lists of things that need to be done floating around in my head. Add in the two 4 year olds who deserve time with their mom other than following her around cleaning up while she's complaining that other people have clean homes.. why can't she? I know things could be way worse. Once, just once I'd like to come into my house and not sigh, because eventhough I spent the greater part of the day working hard to get things put away/ washed/folded/ organized, it doesn't look like I've done a thing in weeks. How do "those people" do it? How do they keep things so orderly? I know that being a mom is supposed to be challenging... but how come I can't seem to put this stuff on hold for a little while and appreciate how good things really are, instead of laboring over the things I find that are bad?
2 comments:
Oh, Honey!
Why don't you come over to my house sometime. I promise you'll feel better. It'll send you running back to your laundry piles. I have to hang out in Nuvy's room all the time because it's the only place in the house that doesn't look like it's been bombed.
I justify this to myself by reminding me that all the ladies who gave me advice when I was pregnant said "I wish I'd enjoyed my baby more, and worried less about the house." I never hear anyone say, "I spent lots of time with my kid, but I sure wish I'd kept my husband in clean undershirts more efficiently when my baby was little..."
GAHHHH ! I got caught in my own game! Jenny, I remember telling you to stop worrying over the mess and to love those babies! I'm such a loo.. Alas, it seems the PPD makes me feel overwhelmed. One way to help get rid of that feeling is to organize, so I don't worry so much. Luckily, Gus loves to take little naps.. so I've had a chance to purge through the closets and put away the seasonal wear. Sadly, I pulled all of my maternity clothes out of my closet yesterday. It was kinda bittersweet. I will say it does feel good to know where things belong, so I don't have to wander around half crazed asking myself, " where DID I put that dirty diaper?"
Thanks for the encouragement. Love you.
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