Monday, April 10, 2006
I need some pointers here
As I may have stated in the past, I am enamored by Attachment Parenting. The whole idea of having your baby close to your heart, knowing what your baby needs just by the familiarity of the touch, breastfeeding, and cobedding. I love it's kind gestures. I love it's loving appeal. Here's what I DON'T love: Angus won't let anyone but me hold him. He squeals when his father tries to help. It is frustrating and sad. Parker desperately wants to help me when I am trying to get things done with the other 2 kids... but Gus ONLY wants me. It's crazy. He won't go to my mom... my sister.. and tried to stay with my friend Jude... but it only lasted 2 minutes. I do wear him in a sling pretty much all day because if he is alone~ he cries. He will however transfer to a swing if he's been asleep in the sling for more than 30 minutes. It has become EXHAUSTING. I have a house that looks like a bomb went off.. and because of my obsessive state: I cannot live with toys in everyroom of the house without wigging out. It is hard for me to pick up said toys because if I bend over Baby boy is dumped upside down.. so I have to use one hand for picking things up.. and one hand to hold baby boy in the sling. The attachment parenting has only caused more work for me. I fall asleep @ 9 pm every night. ( I used to stay up until 1am or 2 every night) The breastfeeding is best I know.. but Jeeze Louise, I can't go anywhere by myself. We have to miss one wedding in May... and we are possibly going to turn down another one in July because the exclusive breastfeeding will be messed up for life if I dare to leave him with a sitter and enough bottles to last the night. Please don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't love this stuff. It's just been 10 weeks and I haven't had a moment of alone time. It's bound to wear a girl down. I feel like Millie and Holden are taking the hit the hardest. That part kills me. I am by no means a true AP. I wear my baby 80% of the day. I co-bed before Parker comes to bed at night... and after the 6am feed. Most of all: I use a swing to rock him to sleep @ naptime.SO to all of you APs out there... do you have any pointers to help a girl out with a dream taking place in reality?So, all you true APs.. kudos friends.. you are truly dedicated
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Wow this is long. I should take up this kind of space on my own blog.
Yeah, I agree with jenny. I don't think you have to AP yourself out of your mind to be a real attachment parent. After all, I'm the psycho-Montessori-lady but I STILL think I'm a real AP.
For me, especially when it comes to letting daddy or grandma give me a rest, it's ok to say to my screaming baby (we also suffer this), "Your complaint has been filed with the central office. Our decision remains final."
This might not be a totally conventional AP idea, but it seems to me that it's a powerful non-mommy bonding experience for a baby/child (at least this is my experience with Nuvy and with kids at school)to be really upset(like when the person who's trying to hold and love you is not your mommy) and to find that you can finally be comforted by hugs and love from the non-mommy person who cares about them (say, their daddy or preschool teacher).
It was tough for Kent to find that Nuvy just didn't like him as much--he not being mommy--but we thought(one day when I was about to lose my mind for want of 20 minutes behind a closed door) that it might be because she didn't trust him, and that if we let her work it all the way through with daddy providing the comfort and the milk, that they could bond, and daddy could start getting "attached" too. I figured, it works in later-infancy adoptions, so why not a dad?
Well we sort of tried it and it sort of seemed to work. She did take my milk from him out of a bottle (finally, after yelling her head off for a while) and after some pretty squirmy protests/love-ins, they're pals now.
We haven't yet done it with my parents, even though I guess they'd be up to plowing through it, too. We just see them so little that I'd rather keep it all happy-happy if I can. If they were closer, we'd probably just use the same method with them. I think it's ok to let her work at bonding with immediate family members just like I let her work at rolling over. Like jenny said, calmly talk to her while she screams bloody murder.
Right. I'm STILL not done.
I forgot to tell you that just when I think my head must be inflating your impossible cool, you give me something new to admire.
The velveteen rabbit has nothing on you. How did you get so real?
xoxo
Amanda
Post a Comment